I don't know anything.

  I may not always be funny, but I do know what funny is. That is to say that I've studied comedians for about 5 years now, and I know what gets a laugh out of people. There are three things that are gold in stand-up comedy: Those three things are honesty, emotion  and having a certain brusque to their act.

 

  Honesty, I learned by listening to Louis C.K. I've listened to him all through high school. And he is probably the most honest man on the planet. He talks about why his divorce makes him happy, how he can love and hate his kids at the same time, his fear of death and his hatred towards half his audience all in the same act. I began to notice this in him after seeing a video entitled "The evolution of Louis C.K." At the beginning of the video, it shows him making the same joke at several different venues, over a number of years. They were essentially street jokes, which aren't exactly beloved and respected by other comics. Next, is an interview with him in which he talks about George Carlin, his Idol. Louie talks about how big of a loser he felt, when Carlin told him he did a new hour of comedy every year. He talks about how he wanted to make a change. He said in his next show, he opened up with "I hate my kid. She's selfish." And that got a mixed reaction, but Louie said being honest and getting reaction was the best feeling he ever had on stage. He now has a new hour every year. 

  Emotion, I learned from Bill Hicks. Hicks is widely considered to be one of the greatest comedians of all time. I began listening to him after Louis C.K. I like C.K. more, but Hicks is so emotional about the things he believes, that even if he says things that his audience doesn't believe, they will still laugh and applaud because of how well he articulates his emotions.

  Brashness. This is my least favorite option. This is the easiest area of comedy. People like Daniel Tosh, Dane Cook, and Carlos Mencea try to go as over-the-top as possible to get a reaction from their audience. It's not very respectable, and doesn't really work for much more than a year. I learned this by listening to interviews of real comedians, who have little respect for people Like Tosh and Cook. Mencea actually has to go to therapy because of how much he is hated by other comedians. That's it.